Conversation

Pragmatics -- the social context affects meaning
    Tone of voice
    gestures
    facial expressions
    violations of conventions
Conventions:
     proximics 
     Turn-taking 
Grice's maxims of conversation  
     Quantity   say only what is needed
     Quality   say only what is true
     Relevance   say only what is relevant
     Manner      try to be clear

When people violate these conventions they may be seen as rude
or sarcastic. 

Finally, use of conventions and how they are interpreted can
vary for different speakers.

Tannen, 1990
Most of the meaning in conversation is not in the words themselves, but in
who says them, to whom, how they are being spoken, and why we think they
are being said.

Are there Gender Differences in Conversational Style?

1. Who talks more?
2. Who jokes more?
3. Who interrupts more?
4. Who smiles more?
5. Who nods more?
6. Who uses more listening responses like uh-huh?
7. Who gives orders?
8. Who makes more suggestions?
9. Who uses more inclusive pronouns like Let's?
10. Who is more likely to invite a response with names or tags?
11. Who is more likely to ask questions?
12. Who is more likely to mention details?
13. Who is more likely to face you/establish eye contact?
14. Who is more likely to change the topic?
15. Who is more likely to speak at the same time?
16. Who is more likely to hedge? "It seems"
17. Who is more likely to hesitate?
18. Who is more likely to use polite forms?
19.  Who is more likely to use absolutes?
20. Who is more likely to make indirect  requests?

Do women and men speak different languages?
Do I look fat in this?
Do you want Thai for dinner?

Genderlects (Tannen, 1990)
        Within a culture, men and women have different experiences
        starting in infanthood
                reactions to crying babies (Condry & Condry, 1976)
                playgroups (Maltz & Borker, 1982)

        Different practice with language --> different understanding of
        language use

        Dichotomies
        Men's           Women's
        Power           connection
        oneupsmanship   equality
        aggression      inclusion
        problem solver  listener
        report          rapport
        decision        discussion
        powerful        powerless (Lakoff)
        informing       intimacy  (Tannen)

Cultural expectations also influence language.
Women cannot adopt a "powerful" style completely,
Man cannot adopt a "connecting" style completely and still
be acceptable to others.