Campus Advocacy Network Student Opportunities
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Stalking

 

Helping a Friend Who is Being Stalked

  • If someone says they are being stalked: Believe them! Stalking is happening more and more, especially thanks to technology like the internet, camera phones, GPS etc. People need to be believed and supported!

  • It is not the victim's fault. Stalkers are often living in a fantasy world, are obsessed or are beyond reason. Their attachment has nothing to do with the victim's behavior, wishes or the reality of the situation.

  • Be supportive! Stalking, like domestic violence & sexual assault can cause depression, anxiety, headaches, stomach problems, sleeping problems etc. Let your friend talk as much as or as little as they need to, it is important that someone listens to them & believes them!

  • Do not respond to the stalker in any way shape or form. Even if you feel sorry for them, which can happen a lot, do not respond. Any response from you can be misinterpreted by the stalker and may even encourage the stalker. Most importantly contact with the stalker can put you or your friend in harms way.

  • Advise your friend to document everything. You can also document any incidence of stalking that you witness. Save all messages, e-mails, letters etc. Write down dates and times that you witness stalking behavior. Start a journal where you can record everything.

  • Do not give any information out about the victim, no matter what the stalker might say. Stalkers can be very clever about getting information. They might tell you it's an emergency or pretend to be calling from the victim's work, school, doctor's office etc.

  • Offer to travel places with the victim so they do not have to be alone. Offer to drive your friend and agree to be a “check in person” for when your friend is out alone. A “check in” person is someone that agrees to call the police if the victim doesn't call to let them know they are safely home from work, a friend's etc by a certain time.

  • Refer your friend to the Campus Advocacy Network (312) 413-8206. They can assess the situation and refer your friend to counseling, legal aid, provide escort on campus and be a safe place on campus where their needs will be heard and responded to.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2002-WA-BX-0011 awarded by the Office of Violence Against Women and the U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view in this document are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.