Wellness Center

Your First Time

Deciding to have sex is a big decision. There are many risks that come with choosing to have sex. Ultimately it is your decision to have sex or not. You should never allow anyone to pressure you.
For men and women. What to do and what to expect.
- Make sure that you have thought about it and you are ready to have sex. Even if you are not absolutely in love or want to be together the rest of your life, be mature about your decision so you don’t regret what you did later.
- Use protection. If you start using condoms your very first time, it is easier to associate condoms with the pleasure you will be having.
- Make sure you work up to it long enough. Some people think that foreplay is over rated but a good amount (say 15-20 minutes) is just enough time to make sure both partners are ready. You want to be sure there is enough natural lubrication (wetness) so it goes in easy.
- During foreplay is the time to put the condom on. You shouldn’t wait until penetration because precum is a fluid that can not only get you pregnant but also carry disease. When you are putting the condom on you may want to even use additional water based lube to make sure everything goes… smoothly.
- o Don’t expect it to be perfect. It won’t be. And it probably won’t be super great the next couple of times. Few people are naturals at sex and you will need some practice.
- Don’t expect it to last all night long. Any girl that says she loves doing it for hours is probably lying. All it gets you is sore and dry.
Female Virgins
- First of all, don’t expect fireworks your first time.
- Having sex is a new experience and it takes some time to get used to.
- Will it hurt? It shouldn’t cause pain but it might be a little uncomfortable and you may feel pressure. The best thing to do is make sure you are completely relaxed and tell your partner if you experience any pain.
- Will I bleed? Maybe. You may have heard of popping a girl’s cherry or to be less crude breaking the hymen. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the opening of the vagina. And just like a vagina, it comes in all shapes and sizes. In the old days, bleeding on the wedding day, when the hymen was torn was proof that you were a virgin. However that was not always the case because the many women do not bleed regardless of if they have a hymen. These days, most women have already torn or stretched the hymen through physical activity, tampon use or masturbation. You probably have at least stretched your hymen. The hymen does not make you a virgin.
Male Virgins
- You probably have been dreaming of this day for a while. Big pressure.
- Don’t freak out. That will only create added pressure.
- Put on a condom. Not only is it safer but it will also help with the sensation. Start slow and make sure the penis is fully erect when penetrating.
- There is this thing called premature ejaculation that could happen your first couple of times. It is more common than you think. Don’t be ashamed about it. Using condoms can help prevent premature ejaculation, thicker ones help control the sensation.
- What happens next is up to you. I would say think of baseball to last longer but it probably won’t work. So try to enjoy it and you will probably be better next time.

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How do you “Do It”?

Open up just about any Cosmo or Maxim now-a-days and you’ll find whole sections about sex positions and what he likes or she likes. While these things may be funny or interesting, they usually don’t happen in real life. And if they do happen, they are certainly not for the beginner.
The truth is, there is no one particular way to have sex and it’s really just all up to the two people having the sex.
While we are not here to tell you what works and what doesn’t, there are some important things to keep in mind whenever you choose to have sex.
1. Keep it safe. Make sure that you are consistently using protection.
2. Communicate. Find out what your partner likes and tell your partner what you like.
3. If it hurts, STOP. You might want to try changing the position up. You might also be getting a little dry and you should try using lube. (Side note: just because you are using lube does not mean you are not “the man”.)
4. If someone starts bleeding, STOP. Chances are you were a little too rough (or she got her period… which happens) and sometimes you won’t feel the injury. Its no one’s fault but you should stop having sex for a few days until the injury heals. Remember that this wound can increase your chances of getting an STD if your partner has one.
5. Don’t be absolutely frightened.
6. Have fun. Be open to trying new things. You may just find something interesting that a magazine would never tell you.
So you don’t need to go out and by a book about sex positions (unless you really want to or you want a good laugh.) The best way to have sex is to learn it first hand and no book will tell you that.

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Your First Time

How do you “Do It”?

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