Wellness Center - Let's Talk About Sex

Pregnancy

When a person becomes pregnant (whether it is planned or unplanned) many issues arise that are unique to that individual. No matter how routine or common pregnancies are, there are a multitude of emotions that go along with the result of one little test. Ultimately it is up to you to decide what to do when you become pregnant. If you think you are pregnant please consult your clinician or physician to discuss options and prenatal care.

I had sex on my period. Am I Pregnant?
- There is no way to say without a doubt that you are not pregnant but it is unlikely. This is one of a woman’s least fertile times. If you are young though, your cycle is not 100% normal and you might be able to become pregnant. Young people need to be especially careful since their periods may not be regular and often mistake spotting as a period.
- If you did slip up this once, you can go to any pharmacy in Illinois (and other states too) and request the plan B pill at the pharmacy counter. It costs about 40 bucks on average, but it can prevent pregnancy up to 72 hours after an unsafe sex act.
If I’m on the pill, can my guy cum in me?
- I wouldn’t recommend it. It takes a while for a woman to adjust the birth control pills. It does not protect against pregnancy right away. Furthermore, if you are not a diligent user and miss a pill here and there, you could become pregnant. The pill needs to be taken at the same time everyday to be most effective.
- The pill also does not protect against STDs or HIV. If you or your partner are not monogamous (having sex with only each other) you could be at risk.
Does douching prevent pregnancy?
- No. Some women think that douching removes all the sperm in the body; however, it cannot do anything about sperm that has moved past the cervix.
- Douching is actually an unhealthy practice. The vagina is self cleaning, it secretes mucus and enzymes and has natural bacteria that protects against infection. When a person douches they remove all the natural flora and can increase the risk of vaginal infections and STD infections if they are present.
- The best way to clean the vagina is to wash the outer area (labia and vulva) with a mild soap. Do not flush the vagina with any douches.
I just found out I’m pregnant. What can I do?
- The decision is yours. Seek professional help and guidance. Think about what you can do. What you choose to do is a decision you will need to work out but ultimately you do it for yourself. Here are some links that can help you make an informed decision. Good Luck.
  http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
  http://www.caris.org/

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Communication

If you can’t talk to your partner about all the risks and benefits of having sex, then you are not ready to have sex.
Make sure you and your partner understand each others’ feelings about sex.
Lay down some rules bout sex. Let your partner know how far you are willing to go.
Talk about protection. Some people don’t like to use condoms at all. Let your partner know how you feel about using protection. This one is hard to compromise with. Condoms (male and female) are the only forms of protection that can protect against HIV and STDs. Even then, some STDs like syphilis, herpes, genital warts and crabs/scabies can be passed from areas not protected by the condom. Other forms of birth control only help prevent pregnancy.
Talk about testing. Getting tested is not about trust. A person can tell you they have nothing because they honestly believe that they are clean (remember some STDs have no symptoms). One of the best ways to address getting tested is to offer to get tested yourself. While testing is confidential and any information, like sexual activity and drug use is between you and the doctor, many places treat partners together, so if your partner has an infection you can get treated too.
Don’t pressure your partner into having sex. Doing this can turn a relationship rocky and can lead to some heavy emotional scarring. You can discuss sex, but if your partner doesn’t want to have it you need to respect that. Remember your partner controls their own body, it is not yours for the taking… even if you are married. No excuses.
Communication during sex is also important. Find out if your partner is comfortable, what does he/she like? You can make sex better for both of you if you ask. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like either.

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Digital sex

Sex with a computer? No. Digital sex refers to using your digits or fingers to stimulate your partner. This is often referred to as mutual masturbation.

It can be one of the safest forms of sexual contact, if you play by the rules…

Make sure you start with clean hands. This reduces the risk of bacterial infections, especially vaginal infections.
Make sure your keep your nails trimmed. No further explanation needed there.
Don’t play around if you have a cut on or near your hand. Always play it safe. If you do have a cut and can’t help but to fool around, slip on a rubber glove. If you use lube with it, it will make things more slippery and smoother than a regular old hand. If you have a little cut on your finger, try finger cots, they are teeny little condoms for your fingers and are available at most drug stores.
These safety measures seem corny or you might not think anyone is doing it. There are ways to make adding a glove to mutual masturbation. You can ask your partner just to try it; you can play doctor, and if that fails you can just skip to the scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt is having sex wearing just a rubber glove.
Be careful of fluid transfer. Don’t get semen on one hand then touch the vagina. Similarly don’t get vaginal fluids on the penis either. The same goes for same sex mixing vaginal fluids is pretty risky since women are more at risk for contracting STDs. Mixing semen carries a slight risk as well.
If you do decide to take things further. Make sure that you have condoms or other protection handy (i.e. dental dams for oral sex on the vagina or anus).

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Sex Toys

Many people are choosing to introduce sex toys into their sex lives. There is a large variety on the market ranging from hand held devices to strap-ons to vibrating cock rings to butt-plugs and everything in between. Whether it is alone or with a partner, it is important to be safe with sex toys.

Clean your sex toy every time you use it. Use a sex-toy safe cleaner. Follow the directions. Only boil the ones that are safe to boil. Be extra careful to clean toys used for anal stimulation.
Follow care instructions for each toy. Check the regularly for wear and damages. If it’s damaged in anyway its best to replace it.
Use plenty of lube. Water-based lubricants are best. Some lubricants contain silicone which isn’t compatible with silicone based sex toys, so it’s best to double check.
Be careful with fluids. While sharing is not usually recommended, use protection. Condoms can be used with toys used for penetration. If you are sharing, change the condom before using it on your partner. If you have a new partner, you should get a new toy because you may not know what is lurking in the sex toy’s material.

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Masturbation

Everybody’s doing it. Ok maybe not everyone, but you are not alone.
Masturbation is solo sex, unless its mutual (see digital sex)
Will you go blind or get hairy palms? No. Masturbation is like practice for sex, or a way to abstain or a way to relieve stress. It is a natural and healthy way to explore your body.
There is no single best way to masturbate and there is no way to do it the wrong way either. It is all about figuring out what you like, which is helpful for when you have sex with another person.
Masturbation is normal and it’s all about exploring your body and becoming comfortable with your best sexual partner, YOU.

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