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Questions and Answers: Sexual Wellness
Is it normal for a 21-year-old man to have wet dreams?
Does
pubic hair affect the pap smear?
My skin bleeds when I have sex. Am
I just sensitive or do I have an STI?
My anus is bleeding after using an anal
toy. What should I do?
I ejaculate too quickly. What can I do?
I'm not sure if I had sex. Did my hymen break?
I get a stomachache when I swallow
semen. How can I help this?
I was having sex, but I did not ejaculate
and it was painful. Why?
Can UTIs be passed during oral sex?
Can I get a disease from having
anal sex?
I think the condom came off inside of
me. What should I do?
Thinking about sex is interrupting my life.
What can I do?
What is semen supposed to look like?
Could anal activities cause me to
have bladder infections?
Can you feel it when someone ejaculates
inside of you?
What can I do to overcome my shyness and
start a relationship?
Can you get pregnant from anal sex?
Can you ejaculate from your anus? Can
women ejaculate?
What is the point of flavored condoms?
Can flavored condoms be used for oral sex?
Is it safe for my boyfriend to ejaculate
in my anus?
We want to have anal sex, but I'm worried.
What can I do?
I spot from my anus sometimes, and I spot
from my vagina after sex. Why?
Is there still risk in oral sex if there
is no ejaculation?
I need some tips on giving my girlfriend an
orgasm.
How can I change my girlfriend's mind about
anal sex?
QUESTION: Is it normal
for a 21 years old man to have a wet dream regularly. If not,
why is this happening and how it can be cured. Is there any
medication? (February 28, 2005)
ANSWER: It is not unusual or abnormal for a male to experience
wet dreams. Although wet dreams are more common in adolescent
males who are not masturbating or having sex with others, wet
dreams still may occur in males twenty to thirty-five years
old, even in males who are sexually active. Oftentimes, masturbation
to orgasm, or being sexually active reduces the number of wet
dreams a male has. If you are concerned about having regular
wet dreams, it is recommended you speak with your clinician.
QUESTION: does it make the test
easier if there is not as much pubic hair around the vaginal
area or does that not make a difference? (December 10, 2004)
ANSWER: If the "smear test" you are referring
to is the Pap smear test, the amount of pubic hair around the
vagina does not affect the results of the test in any way. The
Pap smear checks for changes in the cells of your cervix (the
cervix is inside of a woman's body and it connects the uterus
to the vagina). A Pap smear can tell if you have an infection,
abnormal (unhealthy) cells, or cancer.
QUESTION: Whenever my boyfriend
and I have sex, the skin between my vagina and anus gets so
sensitive it feels like I'm being rubbed raw and occasionally
will start to bleed. Also, my vagina becomes painful in the
lower half and remains that way for a few days afterwards. I
am away from him while I am at school so we do not have sex
very often. Is this from needing to be stretched out or are
these symptoms of an STD? (November 30, 2004)
ANSWER: It is possible that your skin starts to bleed because
it is sensitive, although it may also indicate some kind of
infection. If you are concerned about the discomfort and bleeding
you are having, it is recommended you see your clinician. S/he
will be able to determine the cause of your discomfort and help
you identify ways to stop it.
Remember, having unprotected sex can put you at a greater
risk for contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
It is recommended that sexually active people get tested for
sexually transmitted infections at least every six months. Using
a barrier method, such as a condom or dental dam, may reduce
your risk of contracting or transmitting an STI.
QUESTION: I have just pleasured
myself anally using a toy. MY anus is bleeding now. Is this
normal, what going on? I havent had any anal or any sex for
that matter, should I suspend my anal pleasure experiences?
(November 30, 2004)
ANSWER: Probably the most important points to remember when
experimenting with anal stimulation is that you should use slender
objects, lots of lubricant and go slow.
If you are using sex toys, it is recommended that you use sex
toys designed for anal use; anal sex toys are designed for this
purpose, so they are a safer alternative than other objects.
If you are using an object other than an anal sex toy, it is
recommended that the object is smooth and flared at the base.
Never insert anything into your anus that might be difficult
to retrieve. Many people have wound up in their local emergency
room after "losing" an object in their anus.
Anal stimulation can be difficult or even impossible with no
lubrication as the anus is not self lubricating. A water- or
silicone-based lubricant can help to ease discomfort you may
feel during anal stimulation.
If you are interested in experimenting with anal stimulation,
it is recommended that you start slowly. Easing into anal play
is a good idea; it is helpful if you stay relaxed as the muscles
can tense up making it difficult and sometimes painful to have
anal play. If you experience any pain, it is recommended that
you stop right away. The anus can stretch, but it has its limits.
Stretching the anus beyond its limits can cause tearing and
bleeding. Pain and/or bleeding can both be warning signs that
you should slow down and re-evaluate your approach. You should
always stop immediately if you experience any pain.
Anal stimulation can be intensely pleasurable. It's important
to listen to your body, do what is comfortable for you, and
never go beyond what is pleasurable.
If you have continued bleeding from your anus, it is recommended
you see your clinician.
QUESTION: When having sex, I
find that I cum extremely quickly. I have no problem getting
it up, it's just that once I get inside I get too excited or
something and blow my load, in-turn causing me to go limp right
after. Could this be due to the fact that I don't wear a condom
and sensitivity plays a role? I'm only 19 years old so I don't
quite understand why this is happening at this point in my life.
What can I do to prolong ejaculation and keep erect during sex?
Is there a technique, prescription, etc.? (November 2, 2004)
ANSWER: Premature ejaculation often occurs during a male's
first experiences with sex, and in this case is most commonly
attributed to anxiety. Over time, most men gradually learn to
control their orgasm.
Some men, though, develop a longer-term anxiety toward sex,
which can cause a prolonged experience with premature ejaculation.
Sexual behavior can also be a factor in premature ejaculation.
The longer the period since the last ejaculation, the quicker
young men typically reach orgasm. Most men ejaculate within
2 minutes of entering another person's body. Additionally, younger
men tend to ejaculate more quickly than older men, as experience
seems to be associated with ejaculatory control.
Behavioral therapy
For many years, behavioral therapy was the only treatment available
and accepted. Behavioral therapy includes:
The
"start-stop" method, in which the male withdraws
the penis from the vagina before ejaculation can occur, then
reinserts the penis when the urgency has subsided.
The
"squeeze" method, in which gentle pressure is applied
to the head of the penis with the index finger and thumb to
prevent ejaculation.
Desensitizing
the penis. Some men find that desensitizing the penis can
help resolve premature ejaculation, though it usually also
lessens the pleasure of sex for the male.
The two most common types of desensitization are:
Use
of desensitizing creams, which promise to lessen the sensations
felt by men during intercourse so that they can last longer.
Use
of condoms, which reduce the amount of stimulation experienced
during sex.
Anti-depressants
In recent years, a number of studies have revealed that anti-depressants
can be fairly effective in postponing ejaculation when taken
on a daily basis or when taken about 5 to 24 hours before anticipated
sexual activity.
Oftentimes, premature ejaculation in young men or sexually inexperienced
men is not a concern, as it is something that decreases with
experience. If you are concerned about your premature ejaculations,
it is recommended you consult your clinician to talk about treatment
options. S/he would be able to help you figure out what option
is best for you and your body.
Additionally, it is important to remember that participating
in sexual acts without the use of a condom or other barrier
method increases your risk of contracting sexually transmitted
infections and of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy.
Information is from the Erectile Dysfunction Institute; for
more information, check out their website at http://www.erectile-dysfunction-impotence.org/index.html.
QUESTION: I am not sure if I had
sex last night. I heard that a woman's hymen may break and that
blood will come out. But if I had sex last night and I start
bleeding about twenty-four hours later, is that just my period
or has my hymen broken and have I had sex? (October 19, 2004)
ANSWER: The hymen is a thin membrane that covers some or
all of the vaginal opening. It is a myth that only women with
an intact hymen are virgins. Some girls are born without hymens,
or sometimes they break due to menstruation, using tampons,
or even stretching during sports.
It is possible that the hymen could break during intercourse,
but determining if you had sex or not based on an intact hymen
(or lack thereof) is unreliable. If you are concerned about
bleeding, it is recommended you see your clinician.
There is another part of your question we need to address, which
is that it is unclear if sex was involved. If sex was involved
without your consent then you may wish to consider visiting
an ER or your gynecologist; contacting the Office of Women's
Affairs (413.1025 if you are a UIC student or employee), Rape
Victims Advocates (312/663.6303), Chicago Rape Crisis Line (888/293.2080),
or the UIC Counseling Center (996.3490); and/or contact your
local police.
If you go to the ER, they will contact the police as regular
procedures, but you would have the option of not talking with
them if you do not wish to. If you go to Cook County, Rush,
or the UIC Hospital ER, you can ask for an advocate and one
will come to assist you in any way. If you go to any Illinois
Hospital ER and you say you think you may have be sexually assaulted
you will get free medical services.
If you are a UIC student or employee, UIC has advocates through
the Office of Women's Affairs that you can talk to and try to
figure out what happened. As a UIC student you can see a counselor
at the UIC Counseling Center for free as well. The UIC Counseling
Center also has the InTouch Crisis Hotline (996.5535) from 6pm-10:30pm
every day if you'd like to speak to someone there.
Through the Chicago Rape Crisis Line you can talk to someone
about what happened without giving your name and if you'd like
they would be able to refer you to someone in your area as well.
Although there is no way for us to know if sex was involved
or not. But, if you're not sure if sex was involved because
you do not know what sex is then it would be recommended you
meet with a health professional so s/he can discuss the questions
you may have.
QUESTION: I've been getting
a stomach ache when I swallow my boyfriend's semen. Is there
anything I can do to prevent/cure this? Thanks. (October
19, 2004)
ANSWER: There isn't any particular reason that semen should
make your stomach ache. It is possible that your stomach aches
because you are upset about swallowing semen. If you are not
comfortable with that particular sex act, you do have the right
to say no to swallowing, to spit out the semen, or to forego
performing oral sex at all. If you are comfortable performing
the act, but are still getting stomach aches you must determine
whether or not performing that act outweighs the displeasure
you experience after swallowing.
QUESTION: I was haveing sex
and I did not produce cum and it was very painfull Im 14 why
dont I produce cum yet (June 3, 2004)
ANSWER: There could be a couple reasons this may be happening.
Although you are getting erections your internal "machinery"
may not have kicked into gear quite yet. You may be going through
puberty - which is a gradual process - your body begins to produce
more hormones, particularly testosterone. Once this happens,
you will begin to see gradual changes in your body including:
Hair
will begin to grow in new places: underarms as well as above
your penis, on your chest, in the facial area (beard and mustache),
and on your arms and legs.
Your
penis and testicles will start to increase in size. Your penis
will grow longer, and your testicles will get heavier and
hang lower. You may notice that you are getting erections
more often.
While
your penis and testicles are growing, the machinery inside
your testicles will be kicking into gear as well. You may
wake up sometimes with wet underpants. It's not pee, though.
It's ejaculate, sperm, and seminal fluid. This is called a
"wet dream" (in technical terms, a nocturnal emission).
Your
voice will begin to change, growing deeper. During this time,
you might find that your voice occasionally cracks, switching
from its new low register into a high-pitched squeak.
Your
skin will become oilier and more prone to pimples and blackheads
(acne).
You'll
notice that you sweat more, and that your body has a stronger
smell.
At
some point, you'll have a growth spurt during which you'll
become considerably taller than you've been. Your muscles
will get bigger, and your shoulders will grow broader.
Some
boys worry because their breasts (yes, men have "internal"
breasts) grow and/or become tender during puberty. This is
very common, and almost always goes away on its own within
a year or two.
You
may notice some emotional changes. It's common to feel self-conscious
and sensitive, and you might feel happy one minute and angry
the next.
(list is taken from Go
Ask Alice!)
Another reason could be that your are experiencing what is called
"blueballs". This happens during sexual arousal when
blood flows into the genitals rather than flow out. When the
blood remains in the penis and testicles for an extended period
of time it can cause discomfort and sometimes can be somewhat
painful. Having an orgasm will alleviate blueballs, but if there
is no orgasm the erection, blood flow, and discomfort will subside
with time.
If
you are having sex, it is important to discuss protective measures
from sexually transmitted infections (STI's) like herpes, HIV,
genital warts, chlamydia, etc. as well as unplanned pregnancies.
Male latex condoms are very effective at reducing your risk
of an unplanned pregnancy as well as some STI's, but they are
not 100% effective (abstinence from sex is the only 100% effective
way at preventing an unplanned pregnancy or transmitting a STI).
There are many other birth control methods like the pill, patch,
nuva ring, depo, etc. that are available to females by prescription.
Condoms can be purchased at most drug stores. Planned Parenthood
is a great resource for information as well as protective methods.
To find a Planned Parenthood near you visit www.plannedparenthood.org.
QUESTION: i got a UTI after having
sex very frequently over a short period of time with my partner.
I was wondering if they are ever passed from the female to the
male during intercourse or cunnilingus. (February 17, 2004)
ANSWER: A urinary tract infection (UTI) occurs
when bacteria enter the urinary tract and reproduce. Women are
especially susceptible; the female urethra (the tube that carries
urine from the bladder to the `outside world') is much shorter
than the male's, and the opening of the urethra is closer to
the anus in a woman. Bacteria from both the anus and the vagina
can enter the female urethra very easily. During sexual intercourse
bacteria in the vaginal area is sometimes massaged into the
urethra by the motion of the penis, which may make sexually
active women more prone to UTIs. UTIs can be caused by other
sexually transmitted infections, such as chlamydia or trichomoniasis,
therefore, it is important to see your clinician to determine
the cause of infection.
There are several steps you can take to help prevent UTI, including
the following:
Urinate
immediately after sexual intercourse
Carefully
wipe from front to back after urinating or having a bowel
movement
Keep
the pubic area clean and dry (make sure your partner does
too!)
Drink
lots of water (at least eight glasses a day)
Drink
cranberry juice to help keep the urine acidic
Use
a form of contraception other than a diaphragm and/or spermicidal
jelly
Avoid
bubble baths, which can irritate the urinary tract and make
it more susceptible to infection
And
remember, if you think you may have a UTI it is important
to consult your clinician to confirm diagnosis and treatment.
QUESTION: My girlfriend
and I just had anal sex for the first time. We actually had
regular sex in the vagina till I was almost ready to ejaculate,
then since we didnt have a condom. I ejaculated in her anus.
Niether of us have any diseases. What are the chances of getting
a disease? and is there anything else i should know about anal
sex? (January 12, 2004)
ANSWER: The chance of contracting sexually
transmitted infections (STI's) is higher for anal sex for a
few reasons: 1) the tightness of the anal opening which produces
a higher chance of tearing of the anal lining, and 2) the anus
does not produce any kind of natural lubrication to reduce the
friction of the thrusting motion of the penis, and as a result,
tearing and bleeding can occur.
If you and your partner have both tested negative for STI's
in the past and are both monogomous (not seeing others sexually),
there is less of a risk of contracting an STI from this encounter.
It is important to use protection, like condoms consistently
and correctly, to reduce your risk of contracting an infection
and having an unplanned pregnancy; as you may know, a woman
can become pregnant on pre-ejaculate fluid, which happens and
cannot be controlled. Equally important are regular appointments
with your clinician to screen for STIs.
If you decide to have anal sex, it is best to use a generous
amount of water-based lubricant, to make anal sex more enjoyable
for both you and your partner.
QUESTION: About 4 days ago
my boyfriend and I had sex, he had a condom on but, he slipped
out, and when he entered again, I think the condom had come
off inside of me and the movement thrust it deeper. I could
not feel it in me, yet we have not found it anywhere else. What
should I do? (October 27, 2003)
ANSWER: If you have checked everywhere
- sheets, internally, etc.- , you and/or your partner know that
it came off in you and you are unable to retrieve the condom
then the next step or recommendation would be to see a clinician
to help rescue the condom if it is inside of you as it could
create offensive odors as well as possible infections.
QUESTION: I can't stop thinking
of women and sex. As a result I am not able to focus on my school
work and it keeps getting worse. How can I stop thinking of
this stuff or lessen it greatly. (October 27, 2003)
ANSWER: Most men and women think about
sex multiple times a day, but if it is hindering your concentration
and school work then you may want to talk to a professional
about your issue. If you are a UIC student you can schedule
an appointment with the Counseling Center at 996.3490; they
are located in the Student Services Building.
QUESTION: me and my boyfriend
hav sex and he cum is a off white cream color is his sperm good
cause he was in drugs like 1 month ago but he's not on it any
more..what is the right color? (October 21, 2003)
ANSWER: The color of semen is usually
whitish yellow and semi-translucent. The actual color does not
seem to play a role in fertility.
QUESTION: My partner
enjoys enemas and anal stimulation.
We are both 64 years old and have been in a relationship for
seven months. I do not like enemas, but he likes to give them
to me and also enjoys anal sex. I have had two bladder infections
since we started having sex and several yeast infections. Could
the anal activities be a cause of my infections? (October
21, 2003)
ANSWER: There are many factors that
can be involved in the onset of yeast infections, the most common
factors are the following:
-Taking birth control pills
-Using antibiotics
-Douching too frequently
-Wearing nylon panties (which trap heat)
-Using bubble baths, feminine hygiene sprays, deodorant or scented
tampons or pads.
-Prolonged or vigorous sex or anal intercourse.
-Oral sex (as some individuals have yeast infections in their
mouth).
-Wiping from back to front after a bowel movement.
-Stress, relationship conflicts, abuse, rape, incest or trauma
of any kind.
Yeast infections can be transferred through sexual relations
if the infection is on the skin of the penis or under the foreskin
of a man. In this situation, communication is very important.
If you are uncomfortable with a particular act then it is important
to communicate this to your partner and let him/her know.
QUESTION: Can you feel when
a boy ejaculates inside you? (September 22, 2003)
ANSWER: Usually an individual can tell
if their partner ejaculates in them as the penis goes flaccid
after ejaculation (but a penis going flaccid does not mean he
ejaculated as his erection could have been lost). Some can actually
feel the ejaculation once it happens, but it is important for
communication to be present on questions like this.
There is also what is called pre-cum, which can be dense with
sperm. Pre-cum is ejaculated before full ejaculation and most
women and some men cannot feel this when it is released. Sperm
from pre-cum can impregnate a woman.
QUESTION: I'm a 30 year old male
virgin and I'm very shy and have never had a girlfriend. Are
there any resources (books, etc) that address this issue and
might be able to help me learn how to overcome this shyness
and maybe start a relationship? (September 19, 2003)
ANSWER: There are books out there on
shyness, but an option you have as a UIC student is to talk
with a counselor at the Counseling Center. Their phone number
is 996.3490
QUESTION: can you get
pregnant from anal sex? (September 18, 2003)
ANSWER: Technically, you cannot get pregnant through
anal sex (via the anus), but if semen makes it way to the vaginal
opening then you could. Therefore, if you think about the position
women are usually in when having anal sex... she's usually is
on all fours... which means if semen drips out of the anus then,
with gravity, it can make its way to the vaginal opening. Once
it hits the vaginal opening the sperm can swim into the vagina
and if the woman is about to ovulate then the egg could become
fertilized and she could get pregnant.
QUESTION: IS IT POSSIBLE
TO EJACULATE FROM YOUR ANUS? ALSO IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A WOMEN
TO EJACULATE AND SHOOT LIKE A MAN? (September 10, 2003)
ANSWER: There are no known cases of ejaculation from
the anus, but women are capable of ejaculating "like a
man". There are two known types of female orgasm; one is
clitoral and the other is known as a G Spot orgasm. During the
G Spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid suddenly gushes out through
her urethra (it's not urine). The G Spot fluid is colorless,
(urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells
like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly
does). Some women have G Spot orgasms whereas others do not.
QUESTION: all that i wanted
to know was what is the point of flavored condoms? that's all
(July 28, 2003)
ANSWER: Flavored condoms are usually used for
oral sex. If you have multiple partners or are at high-risk
for contracting/transmitting sexually transmitted infections
(STI's), it is recommended you use a condom or oral dam during
oral sex as STI's can be transmitted this way.
Some individuals find the flavored condoms/oral dams to taste
better than non-lubricated one's, therefore, they would rather
use the flavored. Some use flavored water-based lubricant with
non-lubricated condoms/oral dams to give it flavor, whereas
others may like to use non-oil based food products.
It's all personal preference, but remember, when using latex
condoms/oral dams and lubricant (if you choose), you'll want
to use a water-based lubricant as oil-based lubricants can break
down the condom/oral dam, which would defeat the condom/dam's
purpose.
QUESTION: Is it true
that the flavored condoms you give at the Wellness Center should
not be used for intercourse? I looked at the package and it
said they were fine to use against pregnancy and STDs. Thanks
ANSWER: This is a very good question. The condoms
can be used as a barrier for protection against STI's and pregnancy
as the package states. The reason why our office states to use
them for sex other than vaginal is due to the coating on the
condoms. Most lubricants, if you look on the packages, have
a sugar base to them like glycerin, glycose, etc. (We offer
Slippery Stuff as a glycerin-free lubricant). These can feed
yeast infections, which can be uncomfortable.
To get to the point, flavored condoms have a coating on them
(which is what makes them so yummy). Some of the coatings may
be glycerin-free; some may not. We have been contacting the
company that makes the flavored condoms we offer in our office
to see if they are glycerin-free, but we have not heard a response
from them. Therefore to err on the conservative side, we are
saying to not use them for vaginal sex.
QUESTION: Is it
safe for my boyfriend to ejaculate in my anus?
ANSWER: It is fairly safe to ejaculate in the
anus if you are worried about pregnancy, but very risky if you
are worried about sexually transmitted infections (STI's).
Pregnancy can only occur if some of the semen reaches to the
vaginal opening, which is fairly unlikely unless ejaculation
occurs just at the entrance of the anus.
If protection (male/female condom) is not used, there is a high
risk of transmitting an STI (herpes, warts, HIV, hepatitis B,
gonorrhea, chlamydia, among many others) through anal sex. Some
of these STI's are not curable.
QUESTION: My boyfriend
and I want to have anal sex, but I am afraid it will hurt and
he is really big. Also if he ejaculates inside of my anus without
having a condom on can I get pregnant?
ANSWER: You are correct, there is a good chance
anal sex may be uncomfortable. If you decide to have anal sex,
it is best to use a good deal of lubricant (water-based if you
are using latex condoms) as the anus does not produce any lubrication.
You have the right to say no at any time you wish. Let me say
that again. You have the right to say no at any time you wish.
Whether it be prior to any type of sex or during, it does not
matter. Do not let anyone pressure you into doing (or continuing)
something you do not want.
As for pregnancy, if your partner ejaculates in the anus you
will not be able to get pregnant. The only way pregnancy can
really happen during anal sex is if the semen is discharged
in or around the vulva/vaginal opening. But, the chance of contracting
sexually transmitted infections is higher for anal sex for a
few reasons including tightness and a higher chance of tearing
of the anal lining. Therefore, it is important to use lubrication
as well as protection, like condoms, to reduce your risk.
QUESTION: Why am I spotting
blood from my anus? and after I have sex I bleed from my vagina
even though its not my time of the month.
ANSWER: Spotting from the anus could be from
a few things like having anal sex or having a larger than usual
bowel movement, but if it is unusual for you to spot from your
anus you may want to schedule an appointment with your clinician
to have a check up.
As far as spotting from your vagina after having vaginal intercourse
can be
normal for some women. But, again, if it is unusual for you
it's best to see your clinician.
QUESTION: Is there a
danger in oral sex where no ejaculation is involved? Where is
the risk of infection? Is enough if some saliva gets into the
urethra? Is the man or the woman who is in danger?
ANSWER: There is still a risk in oral sex if
there is no ejaculation as there can be transmission of infections
through small cuts in the mouth, on the penis, or in the vagina.
Usually the risk is on the person receiving oral sex since they
are receiving fluids.
QUESTION: My girlfriend
likes it when I finger her but she hasn't had an orgasm yet.
I would like to know how to give it to her. Any tips or suggestions
about fingering will be very helpful, thanks.
ANSWER: It's very important for your partner
to let you know what feels good/bad to her, so communication
is key. Orgasms usually come from the clitoris and some women
have a g-spot where vaginal orgasm's can happen. Not all women
know what an orgasm feels like or even what will give her an
orgasm. It's important for her to figure that out, through self-stimulation,
so she can guide you to what will give her an orgasm.
QUESTION: My girlfriend
always refused anal sex without trying it. She had heard that
is hard and painful. What is the best way to change her opinion,
and how do I start having anal sex with her?
ANSWER: It is her choice and right to refuse
anal sex with or without trying it, as it is your choice to
refuse something you do not want to do sexually. It is not recommended
to pressure someone [or try to change their opinions] to act
on something they wish not to do as this could lead to relationship
difficulties as well as other issues. It is not recommended
to begin anal sex with her unless she agrees/consents to it
prior to doing it and without persuasion from someone, including
you. I encourage her to ask her health educator or clinician
questions if she has any.
As for what she has heard as it being hard and painful, this
is usually true as there is no natural lubrication in the anus
and the lining does not stretch as the vagina does. If someone
does have anal sex, it is recommended to use a lot of lubrication
and to go very slowly to not damage the lining of the anus.
It is also recommended to use a condom as to reduce the risk
of transmitting sexually transmitted infections.
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