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Onion reveals anthropologist's 'curse'

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Brian Bauer

Anthropology professor Brian Bauer was the subject of a parody in the satirical newspaper The Onion. "It was a complete surprise, but a pleasant one," he says.

Anthropology professor Brian Bauer, a top scholar and author on the Inca Empire and prehistoric societies of South America, won recognition last week that caught him completely by surprise.

Bauer was the subject of a parody news article in the weekly satirical newspaper The Onion.

The article, headlined "Loophole In Curse Lets Archaeologist Off the Hook," quotes the guardian of an ancient Peruvian temple as saying that when Bauer "entered the forsaken necropolis and disturbed the earthly remains of the fearsome warlord Lloque Yupanqui, a series of unspeakable horrors should have been visited upon him by the ancient forces of evil." 

Fortunately for Bauer, the article said, a loophole in the centuries-old hex allowed him to explore the catacombs without being cursed. A sarcophagus lid he found was already slightly ajar, so Bauer technically didn't open it.

Asked for reaction to the report, Bauer says, "I was given no forewarning, nor did I contact them."

"I was sitting in bed, reading on my new Kindle when I came upon the article," Bauer says.

"It was a complete surprise, but a pleasant one. I immediately began to contact friends, telling them that I made The Onion."

There is also apparently no truth to The Onion report that the Peruvian spirits would "wreak grave misfortune upon Professor Bauer's prospect for securing tenure next term."

He locked that up long ago.


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