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INTERVENTION
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With the growing awareness of spouse abuse and the increase in teen violence, it is not surprising that we are more aware of the prevalence of teen date abuse. Researchers have been studying the roots of relationship abuse in dating couples. It is estimated that up to one in four dating couples is experiencing abuse. The current literature explains that this abuse involves dynamics specific to teens as opposed to that of marriage relationship abuse. The minor status of these abuse victims implies a stronger role that parents, teachers, and counselors play.
Relationship abuse involves physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Unfortunately, tens tend to have a higher tolerance for accepting these abuses. Frequently, the controlling and violence is misunderstood by teen couples. They often believe these are actions reinforcing their love or bond for each other. These messages are reinforced (and sometimes glamorized) through television, film, music, humor, inaccurate advice from others, or observations of other couples. Teens are rarely given messages describing the long term effects of abusive behavior. They also lack clear direction from peers and adults focused on handling abusive situations, seeking help, terminating the relationship, and enhancing the quality of their healthy relationships.
The prevention of date relationship abuse must occur at many levels. Primary prevention programs vary. However, critical elements should include awareness of the problem, the dynamics of these relationships, and common patterns. Awareness is the first step toward developing and setting personal limits for inappropriate behavior and in minimizing panic and confusion. Information about safety plans, communication skills, assertiveness, conflict resolution, feelings/anger management, relationship expectations, and sex roles give student tools for handling inappropriate or questionable situations, as well as enhancing healthy relationships. Identifying support systems and helping students to become helpful peers allow the development of a safe, supportive network to facilitate interventions for the victims of abuse. Also, students need to be told that abusive behavior is illegal and therefore punishable. For teens, legal action can be followed through by their parents.
Parents are critical in the prevention of date abuse. Obviously, their position of authority can control some of these relationship but not all. Parents need support as they play a delicate role between supporting their child and setting limits. This is particularly difficult with their adolescent children. Awareness can prepare parents and provide them with direction as well.
What may seem like logical responses to the problem of relationship abuse may not be appropriate. An understanding of relationship abuse shifts the focus of counseling from what is traditional. Often using a prevention educational model is very effective. Acting as a facilitator, counselors can help adolescents and young adults develop their own standards and values regarding healthy and abusive relationships. It is also helpful for counselors to rely on community resources responding specifically to relationship abuse as a means of validating their client's experience, as well as helping them see the magnitude of the problem and the seriousness of the problem, since teens tend to feel isolated in their experience and have a limited view for the future. Helping them expand their sense of a future and setting personal goals aids in limiting abuse in their lives. If physical or sexual abuse is occurring, the counselor or helping professional must solicit parent support in taking legal action against the perpetrator since this is an effective way to protect the victim and deter abusive behavior.
For aggressive and violent adolescents, confrontational anger management programs are imperative. As mentioned, punishment is a deterrent. Particularly with the current generation of teens, we are experiencing among them a higher tolerance and acceptance of violence. As helping professionals, we need to continuously provide messages to challenge those ideas by asking teens to critically explore their developing values from the personal to a more global perspective. During adolescence and young adulthood, developing a broad range of coping strategies to manage stress is key developmentally as well as in the prevention of violent behavior. Additionally, by assisting them in exploring their personality styles, we can reinforce ideas to lead them to developing as successful adults.
Unfortunately, the problem and danger of date abuse is rarely recognized as serious. Only recently have we begun to hear cases where a child is killed during a "lover's" quarrel. Community-based programs are rare and left to poorly funded battered women's shelters. Increasing general awareness of the problem and intervention strategies increase the resources available for those affected by date abuse.