The personal journey toward self-acceptance and affirmation has become popularly described as The Road Less Traveled. The road toward self-acceptance can be a long one whether a person is homosexual or heterosexual. Certainly, the homosexual journey is a road less traveled and frequently more painful because of religious and moral condemnation.
In order for a person to affirm a homosexual orientation of "being gay or lesbian," crisis after crisis may be endured. While the process is similar to the way in which Erickson has charted the various stages of human development, the unique factors and characteristics of coming out as a gay or lesbian person are identified in this workshop. I have created labels for stages of "coming out." When one has weathered the crises, one may move forward to become a more functional and integrated person, more healthy and whole in the realities of the psycho-social world.
I will assert that, as Erickson has charted various crises, that a person weathers and grow toward developmental maturity, homosexuality is an orientation and not a "preference." Homosexuality is a gift of God's creation and not to be condemned. While the moral and ethical and legal implications are far from resolution, one may continue to look inside oneself and begin to discover the joy and beauty of one's body and self. Usually this discovery is a process of unfolding and disclosing one's deeper feelings. When psychological, social and religious support may be found, a person may experience an increased sense of integration about the body, soul and spirt. This increased sense of integrity allows the individual to develop spiritually. Included in the discussion of the developmental approach to understanding and sexual orientation is the process of spiritual development based on major Biblical and theological themes.
The purpose of identifying stages of a "coming out" process allows persons to be more understanding about the gay experience. This may include crises or it may be part of a growing acceptance of a homosexual orientation. Some personal experiences will be shared as an openly gay man