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K. Jod Taywaditep, Ph.D., Erica Green, MA
Janine Zimnie and Jessica Jankowski, BA
In Touch Crisis Hotline, c/o Counseling Center
University of Illinois at Chicago
2010 SSB (M/C 333)
1200 W, Harrison St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Telephone crisis counselors frequently work with callers who present with sexual issues. Common presentations
include same-sex sexual behavior, various fetishes, and non-normative or stigmatized sexual practices. Callers often
express guilt, fear, curiosity, and ambivalence towards these sexual behaviors or fantasies. To help counselors at
telephone crisis lines be effective in their work with sexual issues, we categorize their struggles into three groups.
First, telephone counselors sometimes face exploitive callers (often referred to as "masturbators"). The counselor
may feel hurt, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, or depressed when realizing he/she has been exploited by a sex caller.
Other times, when the situation is more ambiguous, the counselor often questions the legitimacy of sexual concerns
presented by the caller. Exploitive sex calls, therefore, create adverse emotional repercussions among telephone
counselors and can impact their morale and ability to attend to other callers, especially those with serious sexual
concerns. Various crisis lines and authors have proposed ways to detect and manage "masturbators" or "sexually
abusive" callers. In this presentation, we consider a caller exploitive only when they use the counselor as a part of
their sexual self-gratification. This>way, someone calling to disclose, for example, their sexual fetish is not
exploitive, unless the counselor's presence and actions sexually gra! tify the caller. We further propose that the line
between inappropriate sex callers and legitimate ones is not so clear-cut; in fact, callers with sexual issues may exist
on a continuum with these two types of callers at both ends, and a significant number of callers fall in the "gray area"
between the two extremes. We will discuss the implications of this continuum on helping callers with sexual issues.
Second, counselors' effectiveness in handling sexual issues largely depends on their reactions to the sexual practices
or fantasies described by the caller. Unfamiliarity with some sexual practices can lead to a visceral reaction that
inevitably limits the counselor's empathic ability. Facing an uncomfortable call, the counselor can become confused,
guarded, withdrawn, or worse, judgmental and prejudiced to the caller. Counselors will benefit from familiarizing
themselves to non-normative sexuality, as well as critically examining their own limits of tolerance and
acknowledging those limits. To this end, we will use an exercise to facilitate counselors' awareness of how their
values regarding sexuality may impact their empathic ability. We also advocate viewing sexual practices through the
lens of the affirmative, sex-positive "difference model" instead of the more prevailing judgmental, sex-negative
"deviancy model" of sexuality.
Third, the question of normalcy often arises regarding non-normative sexual behavior (e.g., is it normal to have this
sexual behavior or fantasy? Where do we draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable sexual behaviors?) We
propose that instead of relying on the concept of normalcy, a framework of sexual health can be used to identify
problematic sexual behaviors that warrant clinical and therapeutic attention. Having empathized with the caller's
quest for clear answers regarding normalcy, the counselor can shift the dialogue to assessing the hallmarks of
problematic behavior. Criteria for problematic sexual behavior include interference with life functions, costs, impact
on physical and mental health, and potential for abuse of power.
We hope the presentation will be interactive and mutually informative. We looking forward to hearing your own
experience working with callers with sexual issues, and how you, your colleagues, and your agency have responded.
We welcome the sharing of stories, insights, and strategies.
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