If the death was expected, grieving may be somewhat easier because we may have had time to tie up loose ends with the dying person. Grief that comes from an unexpected death is much more intense than that of an expected death. With unexpected death, the survivor has been denied the opportunity to tie up those loose ends and to prepare for the death. Feelings of guilt and anger are common.
While going through the stages of grief, it is not uncommon for adolescents to exhibit some of the following symptoms; trouble concentrating, loss of memory, sleep disturbances, loss of interest in pleasurable activities, and frequent dreams of the deceased. Reactions of anger, behavior problems, and psychosomatic illnesses are common.
The period right after the death is when the survivors most need help. The ability to talk about the pain and the madness helps the teen realize that the feelings are normal in that situation. The adolescent must be allowed to accomplish the tasks of grieving which include: accepting the pain of the loss, deciding how life goes on without the friend, expressing the grief and the loss, and finding a support system.
Returning to "normal" life is now very difficult for the adolescent whose sense of security has just been ripped apart by the death of someone close. There are now concerns of learning to cope with life's problems and how to respond to loss and trauma.
It is during this crucial period that the use of the Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD) developed by Dr. Jeffrey Mitchell is most beneficial. The CISD is a peer driven, clinician guided group discussion of the traumatic event. Its purpose is to mitigate the impact of a critical incident (such as the traumatic death of an adolescent peer) and accelerate the normal recovery in normal people having normal reactions to abnormal events. It focuses on prevention, intervention, and recovery.
Through the use of the CISD model, the teens can learn how to express their feelings and to recognize that while they will never get over the loss, they will learn to live with it. New coping skills become incorporated into their lives. The recovery process brings forth a stronger person more prepared to cope with the future problems that life will present.