Q: (Initially posted on January 14, 2003) FROM MENTEE CHANTEL C. IN IL
What advice do you have for me since I am in high
school and a junior. I have alot of responsibilities
in school such as ROTC, choir, and my classes. I feel
like I am tired of school already, and I haven't
graduated. How can I focus without collapsing? My
activities might not seem like anything but they are.

January 15, 2003
A: FROM MENTOR SUZETTE MINORINI IN TX
You said it right when you used the word FOCUS. It sounds like your
extracurricular activities are varied so hopefully they offer you a sense
of enjoyment both as an individual and as part of a team - both of these
are a plus. In the end, it all comes down to your mental attitude and how
you look at the activities. Are they for your own enjoyment or are they a
chore and just work? If the ROTC or Choir are more of a chore, then maybe
you've lost interest and no longer see them as fun and envigorating. If
so, it may be time for a change.
It then comes down to priorities. I would guess that your first priority
is your classwork and grades. If your classes are getting especially
demanding, it's time to think about where you're at today and what you hope
to achieve at the end of the year and at the end of high school. Maybe a
semester break is realistic and you'll want to resume these activities in
your senior year? Maybe not.
I think it's great that you recognize there is a problem and you're
addressing how to deal with it now. Once you've identified your priorities
and considered the time commitment for them, you can begin making some
difficult choices. You'll then carry on feeling much better about your
schedule and your commitments. Good Luck!
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A: FROM MENTOR KATHERINE DRENNON IN KY
: I completely understand how extra curricular activities can burden you and wear you out. To be completely honest, I had the same problem my final semester of college. I was so worn out that I didn't have time to relax and take time for myself and my emotional health. I suggest that you try to prioritize and schedule your time so that you have time for yourself. Try to get your homework done as soon as possible, instead of waiting to the last minute, that way you have that "last minute" to yourself. Also, make time on weekends to just get out and have fun. All work and no play makes Chantel a dull girl (trust me on this). Friends can be a big help because they can empathize with your situation too. Go have a day at the mall with your friends, or go to a movie. Anything to give yourself a little breathing room.

If it comes right down to it, try to take it easy this summer. In the fall semester when you start college, take a light class load (like only the minimum for full time), and get involved in some recreation activites. Try to have fun with college, because you only have it once. I finished my bachelor's degree in 3.5 years, and didn't take any time for myself while I was doing it. That is why I got so burned out my final semester and made the only D in my life. After college, I chose of get a job rather than going back to grad school right away, that way I could take time for myself and restore my desire to learn. That might also be an option for you. If you do this, though, I would suggest that you start with an internship somewhere you might like to work (not McDonald's or Walmart!) and that might turn into a more long-term job, or at least give you the break you need to refocus you energies. Good luck either way!
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A: FROM MENTOR DIANA DEDE IN CO
I have two daughters in high school and can appreciate the stresses you are
feeling.

It is great that you are in ROTC, a wonderful leadership opportunity that
will go with you the rest of your life. Choir can be a chance to relax and
classes just have to be handled as well as the homework.

I hope you are getting a chance to do some form of exercise that is just fun.
Take a walk, jog with friends, go swimming or roller-skating. Anything that
is not competitive but will give you a chance to let the mind wander and
relax.

Also let yourself just (to use a term from my generation) veg. There is
nothing wrong with watching a really silly tv show just for stress relief.
My kids are getting a hoot out of Joe Millionaire. You will also find that
you can study better if you take a few breaks while you are studying. My
kids do not follow the usual pattern and have been known to study while
listening to music or watching TV. It works for them. You do not have to
get A's on everything. Let yourself be a kid and do not be too hard on
yourself. Ten years from now, no one is going to care if you didn't get an A
in every class or homework assignment. It is okay to not be perfect.

Also, really work on good nutrition. Try to take a multivitamin every day
and be sure you are getting good sources of protein without too much fat.
Drink that milk. Eat those veggies and fruit. Sounds simple but you will
feel better if you are eating well.

Good luck and have a piece of chocolate, it also works to just give yourself
a little treat. You deserve it.
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A: FROM MENTOR CAROL TOMAN IN IL
It sounds like you're feeling either overwhelmed or burned out. First,
I want to commend you on realizing that this is happening to you and
asking for help. Many of us go through periods like this in our lives
and the skills you use to deal with your situation now will probably
help you again at some time in the future. Do a self-check: are you
too much of a perfectionist, putting in too much effort on everything
that you do? Are you feeling pressured to achieve a lot? Where is the
pressure coming from, yourself or others? Are you involved in extra
activities that you don't enjoy? If you don't feel you can drop them,
could you instead modify them to be more satisfying or replace them with
activities you'd like more? Do you have a hobby? How do you spend your
weekends and your school vacations? Do you do fun things with friends
and with your family?

Many adults are still learning the lesson that we have to nourish
ourselves so you are in good company. Talk with a parent, teacher,
guidance counselor, pastor, or other trusted adult about your specific
situation. And if this is really serious -- if you find yourself
starting to not care about things that used to matter to you, if you
have trouble sleeping or you lose your appetite -- definitely tell an
adult about what's happening. Depression is not uncommon in young
adults and it is easily treatable but it is often overlooked since
teenagers are often "moody" by nature.

Good luck finding a balance between doing what you have to do and what
you want to do.
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A: FROM MENTOR MARANDA MILLER IN NY
I advise you to set your priorities on activities to participate in. Your
classes should be your number one priority and adjust your other activities
respectively. You don't want to burn out at an early age, so maybe cut down
on the extracuricular activities.