June 24, 2003
A: FROM MENTOR DIANA DEDE IN CO
Dear Nicole,

I have a daughter who will be a senior in the fall. Just a year older than
you. Take a deep breath and don't freak. There is lots you can do now, but
the big decisions will come after your junior year. If you are planning on
college, you need to keep your grades up and maybe move them up a little if you
can. Your junior grades are the last full year of grades that the colleges to
which you apply will see. Some colleges have early acceptance with
applications going to them in September so they will not see any of your senior grades at
first.

This is also the time to explore what colleges are near you and visit them.
Most state schools are great and love to see you come for a visit. Try and
also visit any departments that particularly appeal to you, i.e., engineering,
architecture, medical schools. If you decide to try and go out of state, your
spring break or fall breaks are good times to try and visit those campuses.
It is always nice to see the campus when the students are there, which if you
only do summer visits, may not give you the same feel of the campus. Most
colleges also do web sites so that you can do a virtual tour.

The dreaded SAT and ACT is also usually taken at the end of your junior year.
My daughter used the CD version of the prep course. There are also courses
on line as well as given at some schools. Don't freak if your score isn't
perfect. Because you take it at the end of your junior year, you have time to
retake it in the summer or the fall. Also your score may be just fine and
unless you are aiming for a school with really high requirements for the SAT or
ACT, one time may be a charm and you can relax and not have this pressure on you
again.

Be active at your school. Now is the time to make yourself a resume of your
activities, volunteering and jobs. This is something you can put on your
computer or in a drawer and add to as needed. Then when the application time
comes, you have all of your info there and you don't have to fuss with remembering
what you have done in the last four years. One less stress.

Have fun. Try different classes and remember only about 25% of the people
are working in the fields that they studied in college. So you can always
change your field or evolve into doing something different. That's how we all
grow.

Good luck.
********************
A: FROM MENTOR SUZANNE FRANKS IN KS
Hi Nicole! You know, I come from a long line of "pre-worriers". Most
of my life I've been very good at worrying excessively about things looonnnggg before
they ever come to pass. And, of course, many of the things I worry about
never do come to pass, or when they happen, they aren't at all like I worried about them
being.
So while I would hope that you wouldn't freak out at all about where to go
to college, and certainly not this soon, I can completely understand how you are
feeling. I could tell you things like "live in the moment, enjoy high school while
you can, don't worry so much about the future" blah blah blah and I am sure you
would recognize it all as good advice, but it doesn't help the freaking out,
does it?
Okay, so the question is, why are you freaking out? It sounds like, from
the way you phrased your question, that you are worried about making the "one
right choice" of college, and maybe you are also worried about how you are going to
figure out what you want to be or should be by the time you go to college, or even by
the time you apply to college. Here's the secret: there is no such thing as
the one right college. There are a zillion places you could go and get a great
education and meet interesting people and have cool experiences and build great memories
that last a lifetime. The U.S. has the best higher education system in the
world (in my opinion) and you can do well almost anywhere. So try to stop focusing on
how to pick the "right" college and start thinking about what kind of environment
you'd like to spend four years of your life in. Small or big school? Four year
college or university? Public or private? All women or co-educational? Far across
the country, or close enough to drive each day from home? In an urban or rural area?
There are no right answers to these questions, only your preferences and
interests. Similarly there is no one right answer to what you might want to pick for
a career. Also it would be highly unusual for you to know this for sure by the time
you pick a college, other than in a general sense of "I'd like to do something in the
sciences" or "I think history is interesting". Even by the time you start college
you will probably not know for sure. And, throughout life, you may keep changing your mind, as I have done, and have several different types of careers (see my bio on the GEM
SET web page). A few weeks ago I saw a cartoon in which one character tells
the other "Don't worry, in life, all the big questions are multiple choice."
Which is true, there is no right or wrong - but that's also why it's so scary, because
there are so many choices. A little freaking out is normal - just try not to let it
overwhelm you. And remember, it's all about what you want, not about avoiding the "wrong"
choice.